Hot Tuna

2 cans of low-sodium white albacore
1 hardboiled egg: white and yolk
5-6 hardboiled eggs: just whites
a goodly amount of Jack Daniels' Southwestern Mustard
1 chopped up Granny Smith Apple
5-6 diced green olives
capful of extra virgin olive oil

Smoosh it up. There you go. Don't say we never did nothing for you.

Stranglehold

Riding back from a nice evening watching football and eating baked ziti, I flip to the local classic rock station just in time for the Nuge's* absolutely titanic opening salvo to "Stranglehold"** and get to thinking that there might not be another song out there that turns to absolute crap so quickly and sadly.

Other candidates?

*I like some of Ted Nugent's songs. Particularly this one and the Amboy Dukes' "Journey to the Center of the Mind."

**Careful listeners will note this as Kevin Von Erich's ring theme.

Retrieved Wisdom

Cherry picked from years and years of playing swigs and gigs:

(preemptive strike: this whole "bringing (xxxx) back" construction needs to be destructed immediately before ESPN gets their hands on it and ruins football highlights for the 2006-07 season. And yes, Miss Timberlake, I blame you.)

1. The kid wearing an angora sweater, blocky glasses, and orthodox Converse is actually trying really, really hard. He didn't just fall into those clothes, as he'd like you to believe.

2. That same kid and his layabout douchebag friends will clog space at the bar nursing their 5 dollar PBRs and shoot vacant, prissy looks at anyone who cheers for you too loudly. They will then go home and listen to something they believe they esteem but aren't sure why. Also, the girl in the MC5 t-shirt is a cold, dead fish.

3. Booking agents are never, ever, ever, ever, ever happy to hear from you. But God love 'em.

4. Open with the easiest possible song in your catalogue. Nothing picked, arpeggiated; no breaks, no stops and starts. Follow that with the fastest thing you own.

5. You'll scarcely believe how rude and disrespectful that goodfellow with the acoustic guitar and terrible voice can be until he talks through your entire set. And then you'll know.

6. The ones who keep coming back, those are the ones you're playing for. Also play for the kid who should have won the Pinewood Derby in 1989. He's out there somewhere and needs a good song every now and again.

Circular File

B-Sides, rejected song and CD titles (which may someday emerge from history's dustbin, so don't get grabby):

British Tits on Clipper Ships
Francophile
Come on Come on, it's Baseball
Green Tarragon
If I Was Eddie
Empty Arms
Rasputin v. The World
Winter Walls
To Destroy Your Favorite Things
Jackrabbit Ted Roosevelt (Spain)
Theory of the Binge
I Don't Know...Poop?
That Old Man Manfred Mann
Assface
Front for an Ulcer

Why are you and Julio down at the schoolyard, Paul?

Paul Simon's the great musical Rosetta Stone for me; often enough what I feel like feeling about his shit tells me where I am on the continuum of my own--except as regards his foray into WORLD MUSIC: despicable.

So even as I recognize Capeman's prodigious gifts as a melodicist and yearn towards writing something as minor-key lovely as "The Sounds of Silence", there's no way in hell that Radar O'Reilly didn't chew his bottom lip in shame for his ertswhile biographer upon first hearing "Still Crazy After All These Years."

Checks Mix

So we record with this dude Mike McDonald, who's one of the nicest guys going. He routinely goes above and beyond to hit us with something we need. We couldn't be happier to call him a colleague and a friend.

Anyhow, he's finished work on our final mixes for Disciple & Punish. Go check 4 of em out at our myspace account.

Bless you and come see the show September 11, 8 PM, at the Abbey Lounge so you can hear some of this shit in person.

Real Old Man Music

The remarkable "Fly, Fly My Sadness" as recorded by The Bulgarian Voices.

Astonishing.

Old Man Music

Often enough, I wonder what sorts of listening I'll have settled into by the time I hit 60, 65--if I should be so lucky. Like, for instance: will a listen to Who's Next in its entirety mean nearly as much, feel nearly as big, as it does now?

I feel like I'm a fair amount more likely now to give a mid-period Van Morrison album a listen than I would have been five years ago; by the same token, I'm probably not keening to the new(ish) Motorhead quite as quickly as I would have a couple steps back.

Really revolutionary stuff, I know--tastes evolve and abrade. I guess I've just been thinking on where that's going to put me ten, twenty years down the line and how much a sea change we're talking.

Frozen Fruits

Really, just do yourself a favor and freeze some fresh blueberries. Eat them with popcorn or some crap if you want to. This will not hurt your teeth.

You should probably do this while listening to "Huffathon 85" from our new CD.

Le Rock, Le Roll, Le Sooth, Le Soul

Bostonians, see you September 11, 8 PM at the Abbey Lounge.

JBG side project Frank Kane and the Dorothy Hamills will be showing up and basically playing songs one through twelve of the JBG's new CD, Disciple & Punish. We'll hit you up with a few new ones, a few old ones.

Our buddy Ben from the Diamond Mines will be playing a solo set as well. He's got the goods, he's got the pipes, and he's a hella nice guy to boot.

And we'll kick things off right with the freakin freakonomic debut of Wilford Brimley's Life Lessons, ably steered by the capricious captain of For Those About to Rock.

Proceeds to go to Friends of Boston's Homeless. Anyone who likes the talk more than the rock should probably just send in a donation and stay home.